Wounded
Recap:
“Fallen Eve is not the truest thing about you, but we have to look at our fallenness first because it is in the way.”
We talk about our wounds not to spiral into a depression or pity party, but to experience and deeper healing….this frees us to be more truly able to receive His Love and Love Him in response with our whole hearts. Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them” Ecclesiastes 12:1
Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll (wineskin)— are they not in your record? Psalm 56:8 ….. Our tears are precious to God. He keeps record of them!
Mothers, Fathers and Their Daughters
The core questions in every little girl’s heart:
Am I lovely?
Am I seen?
Am I captivating?
Am I worthy?
“The home is the only place left for this vital transmission of feminine identity. They way you see yourself now, as a grown woman, was shaped early in your life, in the years when you were a little girl.” Captivating, page 62
From mothers we look to receive mercy and tenderness. We watch and learn how to live as women…..watching our mothers, grandmothers and all the adult women in our lives.
From our fathers we look for our core questions to be answered. But Adam fell as Eve did. And so we are wounded from there fallenness (passiveness or aggressiveness or combo of both).
“You cannot be alive very long without being wounded.”…….”Broken hearts cannot long be avoided in this beautiful yet dangerous world we live in.”….. “We are not living in the world our souls were made for.”
What is your wound? What was your childhood like? What was your relationship with your mother/father like growing up? What did you do together? What message did you get as a little girl? Journal about 1 – 3 stories from childhood that had a role in shaping you and the message you received.
Wounded Femininity
The result of our wounds?
We submit, just as Eve did, to the lies. This ultimately leads to hiding and shame. And then shame leads us to believe that we don’t measure up to any of society’s standards or our own and makes us feel uncomfortable with our beauty.
And so we have made an Unholy Alliance.
Unholy Alliance
We have accepted the twisted view of ourselves and relate to the world from that. And we make vows (more on vows in the next post) and come up with ways to protect ourselves from being hurt again. And so we hide, indulge…..live in our fallenness.
Is it just me or does it seem like just when I think I’m on track……out of nowhere…..another blow to the gut??!!
What is Really Going on Here?
“The story of the treatment of women down through the ages is not a noble history”. Captivating, page 81
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Eph 6:12
Satan hates and attacks women (the reflection of God) because of our beauty, we give life, we nourish life….we “bring life into the world soulfully, relationally, spiritually–in everything we touch.”
Instead of believing that it’s our fault that we are not more deeply pursued, that we have not have not beauty, that we are not essential….that we deserve our wound….we must realized that it is because we are glorious that these things happened to us. Because we are powerful. We are a major threat to the kingdom of darkness.
You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.
You are passionately hated by his enemy.
“It is time for restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul. Let us turn not to him.” Captivating, page 92
Truth and God’s Heart for you and me.
Zion’s New Name (replace the words Zion, you and your with your name)
62 For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. 2 The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. 3 You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. 4 No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah,[my delight is in her.] and your land Beulah[married]; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. 5 As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:1-5
Our Wounds, the message of our wounds and how they shaped us…..
Our wounds strike at the very core of our femininity. That’s the goal of the enemy. To destroy the very essence of God that is in us.
He knows that the wounds that he inflicts on us are made much worse by the horrible things we believe about ourselves as a result.
On page 71, in the Captivating book, Melissa talks about her abuse by her mother and how her hatred for her mother grew deeper and deeper. Melissa made a vow that her mother would never do that to her. That she would be tough and hard like a rock.
“The vows we make as children are very understandable—and very, very damaging. They shut our hearts down. They are essentially a deep-seated agreement with the message of our wounds. They as an agreement with the verdict on us.”
We all hide in different ways. Our hiding makes things worse.
Jesus said in Matthew 16:25 she who seeks to save her life will lose it
“The vows we make and the things we do as a result of our wounds only make matters worse.”
What is the root cause of our want to hide?
Shame
Haunts us
Sense that if someone really knew us, they would be disappointed, disgusted and run away.
Make us believe that we do not measure up
To the worlds standards
The church’s standards
Our own standards.
Makes us feel uncomfortable with our beauty. That very part of us that is a reflection of God.
Do you see how the despicable enemy works against us?
We make an unholy alliance.
We accept the twisted view or ourselves.
And so we chose to make a way of relating to our world.
We made vows to never be in that place again.
We adopted strategies to protect ourselves.
So what’s the problem with that?
The problem is that our plan has nothing to do with God.
We are end up living out that falleness of Eve. Living in the deep mistrust of God.
The wounds we receive are for a purpose, but not for God’s purpose. For the purpose of the one know all that God meant for you to be…He wants to destroy that in us because he fears us.
Prayer: Dishonor, Vows and Judgments
We have strayed….We have been living in our falleness.
Father, I acknowledge that my feet have strayed from Your Eternal Paths, where the good, old way is; my soul know little rest. It is tormented with fear, shame, jealousy, bitterness, anger—sin and brokenness. So many times I feel isolated, worthless, vulnerable, insecure, hopeless—then my flesh rules my life, giving in to the temptations of sin.
We believed he lies of the enemy about who we are in God.
Father, I confess and repent that I have let other or myself define who I am and what my destiny is to be. I have believed the lies of the enemy spoken through others rather than believing he truth of who You created me to be. I repent for then walking the path of sinfulness to which those lied led me. I repent for not knowing Your ways, Your laws, and ordering my life accordingly.
Our parents have hurt us and so we have fallen into sin of dishonor.
Father, I repent for the ways I have dishonored my parents, ways like____________________________. I have sinned against them and realized that honor is an eternal path which is righteous and holy, a key to Your Kingdom.
We have pronounced vows and judgments over ourselves and others, allowing the enemy to claim a place in our hearts…the dwelling place of the Lord….Leaving less room for His Spirit and His Love.
Father, I repent for any vows I have made or judgments I have made against myself and others like ___________________________. I put myself in Your place and acted a Judge on my life and their lives, pronouncing a sentence on them. I repent for seeing the log in their eyes rather than my own. (This may include parents, siblings, other family members, yourself, teachers, coaches, employers, coworkers, pastors, fellow believers, the Body of Christ as a whole, etc.) My vows and judgments have planted seeds to be reaped in my own life, with a harvest of curses, not blessings.
Father, I ask for Your forgiveness for my dishonor, vows and judgments. I ask for the blood of Jesus to cleanse me from my sin. I ask that You would cleanse those I have defiled with my dishonor, vows and judgments, including myself. I ask You to bring to death in me the multiplied harvest of destruction in my life because in my life, the destiny You planned for me from before the foundation of the world. Amen
Scriptures: Jeremiah 6:16; Luke 6:42-48; Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6:2-3; Matthew 7:1; Romans 2:1; Galatians 6:7-8; Hosea 8:7
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